Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
