I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
