youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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