Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
