i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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