i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
