Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
