Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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