Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize