If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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