About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
