Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
