Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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