one two three fourrrrnication!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
