Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
