how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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