Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
