Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
