Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I love having hate sex.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
