so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
