Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
