not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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