Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.

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(847): View more from Illinois

We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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(347): View more from New York

It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.

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(850): View more from Florida

I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies

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(425): View more from Washington

I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits

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(210): View more from Texas

i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?

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(404): View more from Georgia

This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited

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