Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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