Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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