Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
