you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
