This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize