Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
whose parrot is this?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
