we have pet lesbian snakes
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
