i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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