it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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