You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
