Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
