He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
