I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
