The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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