Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
