We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
