Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize