lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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