i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize