giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
