Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
