True but thats because hes a fetus.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
