Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
