We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
