ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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