I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
