Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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