just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize