Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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