Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
