I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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