Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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