State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Can I color on your dick again?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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