I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is Oprah even human
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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