so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
