I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
