She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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