just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
